The Weight of Destiny

I got to have a sweet conversation with Gaby this morning. The book we were reading had the word ‘destiny’ in it and she asked what that meant. I tried my best to give an explanation and then she says, “Destiny is something you carry with you. It’s a burden you have.” I was floored. Clearly, she had heard this from somewhere. I asked a few more questions and discovered it came from the story ‘The Gold Tiara’ from the Story Pirates podcast she listens to. She went on to tell me that “carrying the gold crown was the boy’s destiny. But he wasn’t strong enough to carry it and nobody came and helped him.”

Whoa.

There is so much to ponder about these statements. I have no idea of the context of them in the story but nonetheless they are profound. I thought about the word ‘destiny.’ It’s a word that does hold a lot of weight. A burden. 

We hear it often in epic/adventure movies when the protagonist is told they have a destiny to do such and such to save humanity. “Why me? There must be someone bigger, better, stronger, smarter, braver,” the protagonist says. They feel inadequate and ill-equipped for such a task. But, “No,” they are assured, “it must be you. Only you can do this. You have all that you need inside yourself. You just have to follow your heart and be who you were meant to be.”

We see this model in movies all the time. Lord of the Rings. Star Wars. Avengers. The Matrix. Even movies about love like Serendipity. As viewers, we live vicariously through their experiences. We like the idea of having an important legacy or purpose. To be a hero. For someone to see something in us that is inevitable and good and meaningful.

Unfortunately, we aren’t Frodo and we don’t get our destinies proclaimed to us to bolster our spirits, make us feel important, and give us directions. At least not in those terms. Like most things in movies, ‘destiny’ is romanticized. In reality, destiny is, indeed, a burden. One placed on us by the world, whether we recognize it or not.

We want to know that our life is significant. That what we do really matters. That we are more than what meets the eye. But our destiny appears elusive. How can we ever hope to achieve it? How can we ever be significant enough? And our lives become futile quests, always searching for the next thing to elevate ourselves, always wondering if we’re headed in the right direction.

The world tries to answer questions about destiny for us by suggesting all these things we need to pursue: Pleasure. Wealth. Comfort. Beauty. Success. Enlightenment. Happiness. Self-fulfillment.

But just like the boy in Gaby’s story, we can’t carry the weight of our self-importance—our crown. And no one will come help us because they all have their own crowns they’re trying to bear. We are all on a quest for our destiny.

Or rather—our identity.

Because that’s really what destiny is about. Identity. Identity: meaning, worth, purpose.

The world tells us we should write our own story, create ourselves. And so we spend all our time taking personality tests, doing walkabouts, trying and quitting, seeking knowledge about ourselves, striving to unlock some sort of hidden knowledge, skill, feeling, or ambition in the depths of our being.

We set goals to become who we’ve decided we were meant to be. Nothing should stand in the way of our quest for fulfillment. We are the author of our important story and anyone who challenges our authority or our story are attacking the core of who we are—an ultimate offense.

The world’s chosen destiny for us— self-fulfillment—is a religion. Self is god.  Rachel Jankovic says in her book (You Who?: Why you matter and what to do about it), "believing in yourself is the ultimate path not to freedom, but a horrible bondage.”

So I got to explain to Gaby that we don't have to be burdened by our destiny because we trust in God who is in charge of everything and has good plans for us. We don't have to worry about being important and finding our worth and purpose within ourselves—we would always fall short. Rachel says, "The more like him we become, the more we become the person we were created to be. Instead of carrying a burden that focuses on knowledge of self, we shift the burden to knowledge of Christ. He is sufficient. I am not nor shall I ever be. He is faithful. He is perfect. He is capable. He is enough."

The Bible doesn't tell us to live for ourselves. It says the opposite— we are to die to ourselves. Matthew 16:24 says, "take up your cross daily and follow me."

We do not have to accept the burden the world tries to put on us. 1 Peter 5:7 says, "Cast your anxieties on the Lord for he cares for you." Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest."

Our purpose is not unknown or unattainable. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God." Psalm 138:8 says, "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands." Isaiah 55:!1 says, "so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it."

"The only real value and meaning in my life is present in that wonderful phrase 'to the glory of God.' This is the freedom from the fear of being insufficient. I am totally insufficient, and I don't have to mind that at all. To the glory of God, I am weak. To the glory of God, I am not enough. To the glory of God, I come to him anyway. To the glory of God, I worship and am satisfied...

... This is the reality: Christ is more than you ever wanted. He answers the need you are feeling around in the dark to fill, and He answers it in a way that will deal with it forever... We want a little indicator that our lives matter to someone. Is the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ the Son of God not enough for us? Does that not show us that we are valued and loved in an authoritative way?" [Jankovic]

'Do you know your destiny?' is a dramatic question. But, really, do you feel burdened and aimless? Are you tired of trying to be enough for yourself and everyone else? The crown of self is too heavy for you. And it's too heavy for me. It's a weight that we are not meant to carry. 

But there is freedom in Christ. Purpose in Christ. Meaning in Christ. Identity in Christ.

"There is no hope for you that is not Jesus. There's nothing interesting about you if it is not resurrected in him. There's nothing defining about you that cannot live in Christ. Your selfishness is dead. Your lust is dead. Your need to be unique is dead. Your envy, greed, obsessions, guilts- they are all dead. Dead and gone in Christ. Stop trying to tidy them up and make them mean something, because they never will." [Jankovic]

Living for Christ means the certainty of heaven. And destiny is irrelevant. 

Be free.