Fruitful Children
Fruitful Children: Teaching Our Kids about the Fruit of the Spirit
By: Brittany Shields
Introduction:
As I was writing my series on the fruit of the Spirit I started noticing more opportunities to talk to my kids about these qualities and to explain how the Holy Spirit helps change us to be more like Christ.
I thought it would be fun to create a ‘kids version’ of this series that kids can do alongside their parents.
I’ve given a short description for each trait with practical examples of how kids can exemplify them. I also created a fun coloring page you can download and print for them to color!
My kids have learned these traits very easily by doing an action for each one. I’ve included a picture of an action we use for each quality. There are plenty of songs out there too if you want to look for something more musical.
This may be too much information to share with your kids all at once.
I would suggest taking a day or a week to study and work on each one. You can read each section word for word or use it as a template to phrase things your own way.
The goal is to teach our kids why we want to look more like Christ and how we can do that. These things are too hard for us to do on our own. It’s great to start our kids early on asking the Holy Spirit for help. It’s amazing how often these things come up in the day-to-day life if we are looking for opportunities to reflect God’s character.
Another way you can use this as parents is to pray these verses over your children even if you don’t study them together.
Who is the Holy Spirit?
Have you heard of the Holy Spirit?
Did you know he’s God?
(Read John 15-16) After Jesus died and rose from the dead he needed to go back to heaven. He said he had to go back to heaven so that he could send us the Holy Spirit— our Helper.
The Holy Spirit helps us understand God and the Bible. He helps us know what is truth or lie, what is right or wrong. When we feel like we want to make a bad choice, the Holy Spirit helps us to make the right choice.
You grow bigger and taller but you also grow in other ways! We can grow in righteousness.
The Bible says (Jn 15) that God is the tree and we are the branches. When we are rooted in God, we will grow and bear fruit.
When we grow in righteousness we are more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. This is called the fruit of the Spirit. When we listen to God about what is true and right we start to look more like Him!
And that’s what God wants for us.
Can you think of a time when you were about to make a bad choice but you chose the right thing instead? That was the Holy Spirit helping you to follow God’s plan to choose the right thing.
Let’s pray and thank God for sending us a Helper. Let’s ask Him to help us be good listeners to hear the Holy Spirit’s voice guiding us in truth and righteousness.
LOVE
What is love? What does it look like to love someone? Can you think of a time you showed someone love?
Jesus is the best example of love! One of the biggest ways Jesus showed us he loved us was when he died on the cross for our sins. When he did this he showed us sacrificial love and forgiveness. He put us before himself. He forgave our sins.
Have you ever said ‘Me first!’ or fought with your friends or brothers and sisters over a toy or deciding which movie you were going to watch?
We like to have our own way, don’t we?
But when we say ‘Me first!’ and try to get what we want all the time, we aren’t showing love. We aren’t putting others before ourselves.
So we can show love to our brother or sister when we say, ‘I love you and I want to show you I love you so let’s watch the movie YOU want to watch!’
We can show love to our friends when we hand them our favorite toy and say, ‘Here, I really love this toy, but you can have the first turn!’
Can you think of any other ways we can put others first?
The other thing Jesus showed us was forgiveness.
Have you ever had your feelings hurt? Have you ever been hit or pushed by a friend?
Did you offer them forgiveness?
Sometimes it’s hard to forgive other people, especially when we’re really hurt. We may even want to get revenge or hit back. But that’s not loving. God is just and he will make all things right eventually. We can trust him with that.
We forgive because Jesus forgives us. Over and over again.
[Depending on the situation, you may also need to help your child set boundaries and remind them how friends should treat each other. Forgiveness does not mean that they must still spend all their time with that particular friend.]
Read these verses together:
“God is love.” (1 Jn 4:16)
“This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (1 Jn 4:9-11)
“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.” (1 Cor 13:4-7, MSG)
Let’s pray and thank Jesus for his sacrifice and his forgiveness! We can praise him for his power and his love. Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help us put other people first and to forgive others who hurt us. Let’s ask God to help us trust that he will take care of us and make all things right.
Cross your arms across your chest.
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JOY
What is joy? What things make you feel happy? What things make you feel sad?
Has your mom or dad ever told you ‘Stop whining!’? When we whine, we don’t feel joy do we?
Sometimes joy is a choice, not just a feeling. Sometimes we need to CHOOSE to have joy.
One way we can do that is to practice thankfulness. What are some things that you are thankful for?
When we start to whine because we can’t have more, or we can’t do what our friends are doing, or we can’t go where we want to go, we need to stop and think about what we DO have. Thank God for what you already have, the places you HAVE gotten to go, the people who love you.
God wants us to know that he is all we need! When we complain about what we don’t have we’re treating God like he’s not good enough for us and that makes him sad.
But every good thing comes from God and we will start to feel joy when we think about how much God loves us and all the good things he’s blessed us with.
Read these verses together:
“As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.” (1 Tim 6:17-19)
“I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” (Phil 4:11)
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Rm 15:13)
Let’s pray and thank God for all the good things in our lives and all the things that make us happy. But most of all, we thank God for himself because that’s really where our joy comes from. Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help us be thankful instead of complaining.
Point to your smile.
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PEACE
Have you heard of peace? What do you think it means?
There are two ways we need to show peace.
The first way is peace between other people and ourselves. When we fight with our friends and our siblings, there is no peace. People are getting hurt and don’t feel comfortable.
To show peace with other people we need to treat others with kindness and goodness. And we need to apologize when we hurt other people. Saying sorry is important to show people we love them and we don’t like when we hurt them.
The second way we have peace is between us and God.
Have you ever felt worried or scared?
One awesome thing about God is that he is all-powerful and he knows everything. So he knows what’s going to happen and he can protect us or be with us when we’re scared.
If there is no peace between us and God, then we’re not trusting Him. To have peace with God is to trust him that he will protect us and that we trust everything will be okay. We don’t have to worry about tomorrow, we don’t have to be afraid of the dark. God is always with us and his plans for us are good.
Nothing is too hard or scary for God. He is bigger and more powerful than anything we could ever face. So we can be sure that God will always win. That makes us feel at peace because God is on our side and he fights for us and cares for us.
Read these verses together:
“Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.” (2 Cor 13:11)
“Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.” (1 Pt 3:10-11)
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (Jn 16:33)
Let’s pray and praise God for his awesome power and protection. Let’s thank God for watching over us and making good plans for us. Let’s thank him for being with us when we feel scared. Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help us say sorry to our friends when we hurt them and to trust God when we’re worried.
Hold up the peace sign.
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PATIENCE
Has your mommy or daddy ever told you to ‘Be patient.’? What do you think they meant by that?
Maybe right before they told you to be patient you said something like: ‘But I want it RIGHT NOW!’
We like to get what we want right when we want it don’t we? If we’re hungry, we want a snack right now. When we want a show, we want to watch it right now. We want Christmas and our birthdays to happen right now.
We don’t like to wait do we?
Waiting is hard! We might feel sad to wait. We might feel hungry or anxious when we have to wait.
But sometimes waiting can be a good thing. It helps us to trust God and depend on Him for what we need. It helps us to not be selfish. It helps us remember that we’re not in charge of every part of our lives.
Part of the sin in our hearts is wanting to be in charge of everything. We want to control everything that happens. We want to say ‘right now’ or ‘not yet.’ But that’s God’s job, not ours.
God is the most patient! We read in the Bible how the Israelites kept disobeying God and complaining to God when they didn’t like what was happening. But God still loved them and was patient with them. He kept waiting for them to worship him and make right choices.
We should be patient like God is patient!
When your mommy or daddy or teacher tells you to be patient, they are in charge of what’s going on and you can trust that waiting will be best. You can show them obedience and respect by waiting quietly and patiently. And when we do these things we will look more like Jesus!
Read these verses together:
“The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” (Ps 103:8)
“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” (Rm 12:12)
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Gal 6:9)
“Jesus answered him ‘What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” (Jn 13:7)
Let’s pray and thank God that he is always patient with us when we keep making the right choices. We can thank Him that we can trust him to be in charge of everything because he knows what is best for us. Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help us be patient when it’s really hard and we just want to say “Right now!” He can help us wait patiently and quietly.
Tap your wrist like a watch.
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KINDNESS & GOODNESS
Kindness and Goodness go together! Sometimes it’s hard to tell them apart. We want to be both kind and good to others.
Kindness is when we care about other people’s feelings.
Goodness is when we take action because of their feelings and help them.
Can you think of a time when you were kind or good? What was the other person feeling?
Sometimes it’s easy to only think about our own feelings because we can have really big feelings. But we need to remember that other people have feelings too, and we want to make sure that we are treating other people with kindness and goodness.
We can be kind and good with both the things that we say and the things that we do.
The hardest part of being kind and good is that sometimes others don’t really care if we’re kind or good. Or they may not notice.
Maybe you clean up your brother or sister’s game for them and put it away without them asking you. That would be kind and good! But maybe they don’t tell you thank you. Maybe no one even notices that you did it! You may want to think, ‘They didn’t even say thank you! I’m not doing that again!’
But just like God shows us kindness and goodness when we don’t thank him or notice what he’s doing, we need to do that too. We are kind and good even if people aren’t grateful, and even if they hurt our feelings.
Read these verses together:
“They refused to listen, And did not remember Your wondrous deeds which You had performed among them; So they became stubborn and appointed a leader to return to their slavery in Egypt. But You are a God of forgiveness, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness; and You did not forsake them.” (Nehemiah 9:17)
“You are good, and do good; teach me Your statutes.” (Psalm 119:68)
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Eph 2:10)
“Love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.” (Lk 6:35)
“Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor.” (Prov 21:21)
Let’s pray and thank God for being kind and good to us even when we make him sad by disobeying. He does so much for us that we don’t even know about. Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help us think about other people’s feelings and to help us to do good even to those who hurt our feelings or don’t thank us for our work.
One thumbs up for kindness, bring your second one up for goodness.
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FAITHFULNESS
Faithfulness is a big word! Do you know what it means to be faithful?
Being faithful is to tell the truth. Being faithful is also to do what you say you’re going to do.
One of the awesome things about God is that he always does what he promises. We read about hundreds of promises in the Bible that he made to people and he did everything he said he would do! That makes God faithful because we can depend on him and we can trust his word.
God can never lie.
But we’re not God. We sin. So sometimes we tell lies or we make promises we can’t keep. That makes it hard for people to trust us.
Who is someone you trust? Why is it important to be able to trust someone? Do you want people to trust you when you say something?
Trust is really important and it’s hard to get it back once you lose it. We need to be careful with our words and try to always be honest, even when it’s hard.
Mommies and daddies might be sad if you break something or make a wrong choice, but they will love you no matter what and they would rather you tell the truth about what happened than lie. God wants us to be honest because he also wants us to be forgiving.
Besides telling the truth, another way to show faithfulness is doing what you say you will do. If you tell your mommy or daddy that you will pick up your room after supper, then after supper, you better do it! Sometimes we can forget things and there is grace for that, but we need to do everything we can to keep our word.
Read these verses together:
“He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” (1 Thess 5:24)
“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest with much.” (Lk 16:10)
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lam 3:22-23)
“Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.” (1 Pt 4:19)
Let’s pray and praise God for his truth and always keeping his promises. Let’s thank him for being trustworthy. Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help us to always be honest even when we do something wrong or we’re afraid to. He can give us the strength and boldness. Let’s also ask the Holy Spirit to help us do what we tell others we will do. He can help us be people others can trust.
Tap your heart with your hand.
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GENTLENESS
Has anyone ever hit you or yelled at you? How did that make you feel? Have you ever hit or yelled? What were you feeling when you did that?
Sometimes when we’re really mad we might hit or yell. Maybe it even makes you feel better after you do it. But that’s not a good way to treat other people.
We don’t want to hurt other people with our hands or our words. We don’t want others to be afraid of us. Do you think your friends will like to play with you if they are worried you may hit them or yell at them?
We want people to feel safe when they are with us.
Jesus was always gentle. Even when other people were mean to him or said mean things to him. Even when they hit him and put him on the cross to die, Jesus did not yell or hit back. He asked God to forgive them.
If we want to be more like Jesus we need to have gentle hands and gentle voices. We need to be a safe person for others to talk to.
That doesn’t mean we can never have mad feelings. We are still going to feel really mad from time to time, but we still get to choose how we act when we’re mad.
Read these verses together:
“Though the Lord is high, he regards the lowly…” (Ps 138:6)
“But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.” (1 Pt 3:15)
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Prov 15:11)
“And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness.” (2 Tim 2:24-25)
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20)
Let’s pray and thank Jesus for being gentle and safe. Let’s pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help us make good choices with our hands and voices when we’re really mad.
Gently move two fingers from elbow to wrist twice.
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SELF-CONTROL
With every single one of the fruit of the Spirit we have talked about, we have realized that we need to control our actions and our words. This is called self-control.
Not hitting when we’re mad is self-control.
Not lying when we’re scared is self-control.
Not demanding a snack ‘right now’ when we’re hungry is self-control.
Self-control doesn’t mean we don’t have feelings. It just means we don’t let our feelings control our words and our actions.
Imagine a big horse running around really fast, going in all different directions. Would you want to get on that horse? Do you think it would be safe to ride that horse?
No!
Well our big feelings can be like that crazy horse going every which way. If we don’t have self-control our feelings are in charge and it’s not always safe.
So if our feelings are the horse, then we are the rider. We can be on the horse and we can control it. Horses have reigns that help the rider direct the horse in what way he goes and how fast he goes. The rider is in charge.
Just like that, we need to be in charge of our feelings and reign them in when they want us to charge around the countryside!
We can say, ‘Whoa! I’m feeling really mad at my sister for taking my toy, but I need to have self-control so I don’t hit her. Instead I can say in a calm voice- ‘I wasn’t done playing with that, can I please have it back.’
We can say, ‘I’m feeling really scared about getting in trouble for drawing on the walls but I need to have self-control and tell my parents the truth about what I did. I know they love me and I can ask for forgiveness.’
Self-control is so important because it helps us with allll the other fruit we talked about.
Whenever we’re feeling big feelings we need to picture our horse and reign it in. Think about the right thing to do or say and don’t let our feelings be in charge.
Read these verses together:
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Phil 4:8)
“And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Lk 9:23)
“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in this present age…” (Titus 2:11-12)
“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (2 Pt 1:5-8)
“‘All things are lawful for me,’ but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful for me,’ but I will not be dominated by anything… Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (1 Cor 6:12, 19-20)
Let’s pray and thank God for being perfectly self-controlled and an example to follow. Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help us control our feelings so that we can make good choices about how to talk to and treat other people.
Pretend to hold reigns in front of you and pull your arms back to your sides.
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If you found this post helpful, feel free to share it to your social media or others who would benefit from it! I hope it makes it easier to talk to your kids about an important thing that too often feels rote. But this side of heaven we will continue to pursue this fruit our whole lives— we should start a children young in identifying ways to do that.
If you are interested, below are the links to each of the devotions I wrote for adults.
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