Live Your Truth (and Other Lies)
Live Your Truth (and Other Lies): Exposing Popular Deceptions That Make Us Anxious, Exhausted, and Self-Obsessed
By: Alisa Childers
“Will you choose to stand on the unchanging truth of the God-breathed Scriptures, or will you choose whatever trendy catchphrase people are currently obsessed with?”
Alisa Childers (author of ‘Another Gospel?’) was part of the Christian band ZOEGirl back in the 90s. She had her own deconstruction journey and questioned her faith and Christianity. In her study and questioning, she reconstructed in truth and is now an apologist. Her podcast, blog, and more can be accessed HERE.
She also received over a million hits on her article she posted in response to Rachel Hollis’s book Girl, Wash Your Face which reflected a lot of my own thoughts on it.
I was drawn to this book because of the title—Live Your Truth (and Other Lies). I hear that phrase ‘live your truth’ so often as positive encouragement. What Childers tackles in this book is exposing phrases like this and ideas that are marketed as positive and life-changing and showing how they actually promote the worship of self instead of God.
She quotes a lot of popular progressive Christians who have drawn an audience by espousing these ideas and shows how they are leading Christians astray.
If you’re a fan of Jen Hatmaker (Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire and For the Love), Glennon Doyle (Untamed), and Rachel Hollis (Girl, Wash Your Face and Girl, Stop Apologizing), you may find this book insightful and possibly even surprising.
If you’ve thought there’s just something off about some of the ideas these Christians promote but can’t put your finger on why, this book will affirm your discernment and wariness and direct you to what God’s Word says about them.
Wherever you stand on these phrases, it’s worth pondering whether the underlying principles of these phrases align with the gospel message.
What are the Lies?
Of course there are more than ten lies in the world, but in this book she has chosen to focus on these popular ones:
Live your truth.
You are enough.
Put yourself first.
Authenticity is everything.
YOLO
God just wants you to be happy.
You shouldn’t judge.
You’re the boss of you.
Love means agreeing.
Girls are most powerful when they act like men.
Are you uncomfortable? You’ve heard these a lot right? You maybe even promote them yourself. They sound so encouraging. Many of them fall under the cultural umbrella of ‘self-love.’ Aren’t we supposed to love ourselves? After all, God created us in his image and we should be physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy.
It is true that we are image-bearers and being healthy is a way to honor God with our bodies. But self-love inevitably elevates self above self-sacrifice. It takes truths of the Bible and twists them, or in some ways completely ignores what the Bible actually teaches.
“What if those little slogans that sound positive and life-affirming are really just lies that will unhinge us from truth, reality, and hope? Relying on popular wisdom can cause unnecessary pain and confusion. In other cases, it leads to absolute bondage to whatever virtue signal of the day is dominating the internet.”
Childers takes each of these lies and sheds the light of Scripture on the truth behind the lie. And in case you need this reminder, the truth is not discouraging. The truth actually frees us from having to be our own saviors, our own constant source of strength and sufficiency. The truth actually offers rest, hope, and authenticity and love as God intended.
“Recognizing who we are in Christ is the ultimate self-care because the Word of God doesn’t reinvent itself along with a constantly changing culture.”
How to Be Deceived in 7 Easy Steps
Childers includes this list in her book and I think it’s super helpful to think about as we discern the messages we hear in the world, whether from secular or Christian sources.
And again, these are not Childers’ invention. We see these at play when Adam and Eve first sinned. If you want to follow Glennon Doyle’s suggestion that “Maybe Eve was never meant to be our warning. Maybe she was meant to be our model. Own your wanting. Eat the apple,” then essentially you’re attempting to become your own god.
Like Eve, if you want to be deceived by lies, follow these steps:
Question what God actually said.
Twist what God said.
Paint God like the mean bully in the sky who uses fear tactics to keep you from having any fun.
Persuade you to trust yourself more than you trust God and his Word.
Catapult your life into darkness and chaos.
Convince yourself that darkness and chaos are actually good things.
Rinse, recycle, repeat.
Take a moment to reflect. I think we do these a lot more fluidly than we realize. We like to trust ourselves and believe things that feel good and allow us to do whatever we want.
“It’s easy to point people to themselves. There will always be a market for that. We love it! We love to talk about ourselves, focus on ourselves, pamper ourselves, and adore ourselves… But we were not created to worship ourselves.”
My Favorite Parts
Childers is bold and has a great sense of humor. This book is easy to read— she shares information in a really accessible and oftentimes entertaining way. Yet it is also gospel-centered and Scripture-filled.
Other reviewers have commented that she is merely presenting ‘her truth’ as what everyone should believe. But that is not the case. She is not just offering a forceful opinion. She is offering biblical evidence, context, and linguistic information to support a historically believed truth.
She touches on linguistic theft (quoting the fantastic book Mama Bear Apologetics, in which she was a contributor). Linguistic theft describes the practice the culture has made of redefining words like love, tolerance, bigot, justice, truth, hate, etc. This is a significant thing and the cause of many hurtful conversations. If we’re not operating from the same definitions, we are not understanding each other properly.
One of the most important of these words is ‘truth.’ As Christians, we should believe in objective truth. And we can know truth. After all, ‘true’ just means ‘corresponding to reality.’
“Truth is true for all people in all places and times. It’s also something you can’t invent, think up, or create. It is something you discover. It doesn’t change, no matter how much people’s beliefs about it do. Truth isn’t altered because of how it makes someone feel. Truth is entirely unaffected by the tone and attitude of the person professing it. A lie is still a lie even when communicated with humor and just the right amount of whimsy.”
“Defending the gospel requires defending objective truth. There’s no way around it. Christianity is based on truth.”
It makes me sad when I see everyone trying to be authentic and struggling with who they actually are. They’re so often not looking in the right place. And even as they attempt authenticity, they are unfulfilled and depressed. Because our own attempts to define ourselves are never going to be enough.
“Living according to the truth is the most authentic way to live because it’s what we were made for.”
“Paul writes, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” That doesn’t mean the unique talents, personalities, and giftings we’ve been created with are dead. Rather, we continually put to death the sin that stains and taints those God-given gifts and qualities. This frees us to be who we were truly created to be.”
When our identity is in Christ, He defines the truth, and we allow God to sanctify the ways we taint the gifts he’s given us, we find true authenticity.
“As Christians, we have to submit our inner lives to the authority of Scripture, and sometimes that requires denying our desires, repenting of our sinful proclivities, and reforming our ideas to align with God’s revealed truth. When we don’t do that, we can find ourselves fighting against God and trying to build our identities on a cracked foundation.”
Another thing I think about a lot that she addresses in her book is that to love someone doesn’t mean you always agree with them.
She quotes Glennon Doyle saying:
“If you want to change me, you do not love me… If you wish me well but vote against my family being protected by the law, you do not love me… to love me as yourself means to want for me and for my family every good thing you want for yourself and your family. Anything less than that is less than love.”
This is a common sentiment- love doesn’t desire change in someone. But that is not logical. Of course anyone is welcome at the foot of the cross exactly as they are, but Jesus doesn’t leave us there. The Bible clearly teaches sanctification which is God changing us to be more like himself.
Doyle’s definition would mean that Jesus isn’t loving. It would also mean that she herself isn’t loving because these words were directed towards her friend whom she was subtly trying to change.
Childers rightly points us to the famous 1 Corinthians 13 passage who helps inform our view of biblical love:
"‘It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.’ (You mean, I can’t demand that other people capitulate to my very specific theological and political views if they want to love me?) Next Paul wrote, ‘It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.’ (Well, shoot. This means that when I’m a loving person, I cannot rejoice in sinful behavior but am commanded to rejoice only when things line up with the truth of God’s Word?) According to Scripture, love means I cannot affirm someone in their sin, even if they insist that love requires that. In that sense, the biblical definition of love is the exact opposite of the cultural one.”
“True biblical love is neither a trite affirmation of someone’s life choices nor holding someone hostage to our own politics or theology.”
Now to still show compassion even in disagreement is challenging and I fail at that regularly. But it exposes that lie that anything that feels good must be true and right. God gave us emotions so they must be important, but he also gave us his Word which is far more important than feelings. And His Word warns us that our hearts are deceitful. They cannot be our ultimate authority in determining what is right and wrong.
The choice Childers gives us to either follow our heart or follow God is a real choice.
Our hearts can still lead us to sin. They can lead us to celebrate sin. But God’s Word will always direct us to truth and life.
Conclusion
While there is a bit of overlap on this book with Mama Apologetics, this is still a valuable read. The tone here is a bit different. Mama Bear Apologetics takes on the ‘-isms’ like feminism, moral relativism, Marxism, etc., but Live Your Truth takes on specific phrases.
Books like the ones Hatmaker and Hollis (at least before her meltdown) put out garner a lot of interest. I wish Childers had quoted more of the other progressive Christian authors that have become popular as well, because Christians are getting sucked into this positive, seemingly healthy worldview that is really based on anti-gospel ideas.
It’s going to take some humility, honesty, and willingness to self-reflect for us to recognize some of the lies we’re believing. But Childers is a great writer to take us on that journey. She is a bold lover of truth (and hopefully my future best friend) who has courageously written this book, knowing that she will face a lot of backlash.
“it must be said that if 99.9 percent of a god-hating culture loves you and your message, chances are you are not being prophetic. They killed the prophets. They adore influencers who sanctify sin.”
If we fit in too much with the culture, we may have strayed from the radical and selfless teachings of Jesus.
“None of the lies we’ve talked about in this book can exist in the same space as the Cross. If you want to be enough for yourself, you cannot have the Cross. It is the irritant that aggravates our sense of self-sufficiency, and it is the remedy that cures the defect that self-sufficiency creates.”
If you haven’t figured it out yet— I highly recommend this book!
More Quotes:
“‘You are enough’ is a message that enslaves people to the false idea that they are responsible to be the mastermind of their current circumstances and future realities—even when they feel overwhelmed. It burdens them with the obligation of being the source of their own joy, contentment, and peace.”
“You are not enough, but when your trust is placed in Jesus, his enough-ness is transferred to you.”
“The self can’t be both the problem and the solution. If our problem is that we’re insecure or unfulfilled, we’re not going to be able to find the antidote to these things in the same place our insecurities and fear are coming from.”— Allie Beth Stuckey
“When we dedicate our lives to serving God and others, we are not like a car running out of gas. We are more like a house with solar panels.”
“The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances.”— Elisabeth Elliot
“Authenticity is not unimportant. It’s not wrong when defined correctly, but it’s not everything. Do you want to know what is everything? God’s holiness. That’s everything.”
“Heaven is not escapist. Worldliness is escapist. Heaven is home.”
“Popular culture tells us that happiness means controlling our circumstances in a way that allows us to have those good feelings as often as possible, and if we don’t experience those good feelings, we should change our circumstances. Are you unhappy in your marriage? Get a divorce. Feeling down? Get drunk. Overwhelmed by motherhood? Take to social media to vent about what little monsters your kids are.”
“Biblical happiness doesn’t come from having stuff, feeling good about our circumstances, or even finding romantic fulfillment. Those things feel good, but they can’t bring ultimate happiness. In some cases, they may even distract us from real happiness. True biblical happiness is knowing deep down that no matter our circumstances, we were lost and now we’re found. We have experienced the love of Christ, which always brings encouragement and comfort.”
“Scripture actually commands us to judge but to do it carefully, rightly, humbly, and without hypocrisy.”
“In our culture, to claim that there are differences between men and women has become taboo. Sadly, we’ve taken all the strengths that men typically possess and made them the standard of goodness and value. Because of this, women feel they need to fight like a man, compete with men in the workplace, and achieve all the things men do. But why is no one making womanhood the standard of goodness and value?”
“Take, for example, the claim that women are “too emotional.” Why do we automatically believe this is a negative stereotype that must be toppled in order to crush the patriarchy? Could it be that God actually hardwired an emotional intelligence into women because they are literally responsible for bringing all the new humans into the world? Could it be that they need to be naturally intuitive and nurturing, with sharp instincts designed toward the survival and flourishing of individuals? Instead of viewing this as a weakness to be overcome, I praise God for the beauty of his diverse creation.”
“The fruit wasn’t something good that was being withheld but something incredibly destructive that God was protecting Adam and Eve from.”
“Satan wants us to view God’s commands as barriers that keep us from enjoying the things we are entitled to. In reality, God is protecting us from what will harm us.”
“Already we can see the precious value assigned to women from their creation. From the language used to describe God’s divine activity to the man’s response and the woman’s role, the Bible ascribes a value to woman that was unique in the ancient world.”
“Sometimes I think we humans tend to downplay our own sinfulness, not realizing how much our sin is an affront to a holy God.”
Books She References
Mama Bear Apologetics: Empowering Your Kids to Challenge Cultural Lies by Hillary Morgan Ferrer
Live Not by Lies by Rod Dreher
Cynical Theories: How Activist Scholarship Made Everything about Race, Gender, and Identity- and Why This Harms Everybody by Helen Pluckrose and James Lindsay
The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism Is Harming Our Young Men by Christina Hoff (on my TBD)
Other Relevant Books:
The Intolerance of Tolerance by D.A. Carson (discusses the changing definition of tolerance)
The Secular Creed: Engaging Five Contemporary Claims by Rebecca McLaughlin (discusses the ‘love is love’ sentiment)
You Who?: Why You Matter and How to Deal With It by Rachel Jankovic (a book basically in response to Girl, Wash Your Face and one of my favorites)
**Received an ARC via NetGalley**
This book just released October, 2022. You may purchase a copy of this book using my affiliate link below.
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